Old Feelings

[the_shewolf]

y'all ever.... have like a bad falling out with some people in a fandom. And used to check in on them almost obsessively because they would try to slander you? And like its years later but that itch to go and try to find them again comes back?

Its frustrating to deal with. It feels like because im bored I want to latch onto Anger as something 'productive' to feel. In fact it probably is just that. I miss a lot of that one fandom, that one group. I don't know where any of them are anymore, not even the ones who were good and who I cared about. But the urge to find them and... well I say 'check in' but its essentially stalking. Even if I don't do anything beyond scroll their social media.

idk

Comments

[left_handed_rick]

Oh, man. I had a bad falling out with someone in the fandom a while ago, and it's a whole grief process to let go of. Even though I know it's entirely unrealistic, I often have this escapist fantasy of reaching out to them, and both of us realizing we have grown and matured and trying a friendship (but it was never a friendship to begin, and was really toxic).

There was a while where I would often get paranoid that the person had created sockpuppet accounts and was trying to be my friend through a new identity and even though I knew how irrational and unrealistic it was, the emotion was still there to deal with. On those days, be kind to yourself. I'm glad I met you in this fandom and that would have never happened if you were still in your other fandom. That's something. <3